For me, being a teenager must be very cool. In our age, which is i call as The Golden Age, we could make the world shocked by our brain and actions. That’s the definition of being a teenager for me.
okay, that’s not what i want to talk about right now, although the topic is related enough.
i have a friend, he is the same age as mine. we both are 16 years old. we have problems like other teenager. he became insane because he loves a girl that he is not even sure she would love him back. my problem? maybe not that big. but for me, mine is the worst problem.
i’m having some kind of anxiety disorder and it drive me crazy. it hurts me alot, like this is not a real me and everything. i’m fighting against this disorder in the past few years. i become depressed alot. maybe you thini this is just a little silly childish problem but i tell you, this is so fuckin’ hard that made our life insane. but tonight, it seems like we, me and him, become younger.
he said that he got that girl off from his mind. he is not given up, only decided not to chase that girl anymore. he said that he felt so free now. fyi, he’s been chasing that girl for a year and there’s alot of things he’s been through while loving that girl. cheating, dumping, and such. it is so hard and not easy. he’s been bullied on his school and got no motivation but that girl–which is absolutely hopeless for him. well, i won’t tell you more because it’s actually privacy.
and i decided to fight this disorder with harder way, a way that i never fought with that way before. but this is the best way, a way that i’ve been scared of. i gotta be brave and tell myself not to feel guilty. this is my choice, tonight, because this disorder, which is so hurt that i cannot tell you about it at all, has disturbing my life too much. anxiety disorder is not something you can just let go off. it’s rolling on your mind 24 hours per day.
we both made a big decision tonight and for me that was pretty cool. and because i was falling in love with Fun.:We are young, so, i kept listening to this lyric, to remind you guys out there who’s having anxiety disorder (which in my case, is COD) and to those guys who’s desperately broken-hearted, who’s been bullied so hard:
Tonight, we are young
so i set the world on fire
we can burn brighter
than the sun
ps. i told my friend that i was walking on a Mall, looking at people who walks around me, thinking about why couldn’t i live normally (without anxiety) like other people? that’s what made me think i need to get better 🙂